Monday, July 13, 2009

Monday Moment #27


Insecurity…

This one’s personal.

Don’t laugh.

Please.

I’m sensitive.

I think myself a confident person, that said, I’m super self-conscious and can be insecure about many things. It often makes me think, if I wasn’t confident, then how would I feel? I’d be like a total paranoid nutball!

But really, I think it’s part of human nature. You know, when you find yourself thinking, Does that person really like me? Maybe they’re just being nice or putting up with me.

So, here’s something I’ve been dealing with: to add or not add my followers on my blog. Want to know why I haven’t added them? Because, if I only have a handful, then I might look like a very sad, little blogger. But then I think, if I did add them, maybe more people would declare their love of Cuppa Jolie. Would you? Would you help me with my total lack of confidence about this issue?

But, a BIG shout-out and thank you to all of you who already follow. Kisses!

After I got to thinking about that, I had another situation bring about my flattened confidence (actually I think it’s a bit more about fear). A really awesome writer-friend asked me to swap books as we’re both at the “finish-line” point of our revision. GULP! Doulbe-gulp! But I can’t say no, because it’s too cool and I’d LOVE-LOVE-LOVE this person’s feedback.

You know, the world is a big, scary place, especially the people who walk about it—particularly the ones we like and want to like us. (You like me, right?...how very pathetic!)

All right, all right. Since I’m admitting all this right now, I will now expose my followers and hope they grow in size. I think sometimes you have to pretend you have bigger bazoongahs than really do…guess that’s what I’m doing.

How about your main character? Tell of time they struggle with confidence or the feeling of insecurity.

19 comments:

Kjersten said...

Oh I totally had the follower paranoia when I first put the followers thing up. I did it after someone asked me about it. But I still feel self-conscious about it.

I also wouldn't take to heart too much how many people are in the followers box. Lots of people follow via google reader or RSS who don't follow via blogger.

Thanks for this post, Jolie!

Lisa said...

Funny. Listen, go look at my small list of followers and feel better about yourself! I figure publicly showing it honors the peeps that *might* occasionally read my semiregular musings (and it reminds me to click on over to their blogs more often, too). Also, I'll bet you have lots of subscribers through other channels . . . email, various blog readers, etc.

Have fun trading mss!

Amy Baskin said...

Jolie, Kjersten's right. Everyone I know who writes knows about your blog. Lift your hand, reach behind to your back and give yourself a pat.

Lisa, I love your blog, am a follower, and get great information from your postings and your selected links all the time.

Now I've got a major favor: I'm just getting a kid lit blog off the ground and today, posted an interview with author Eric Kimmel. Um, (gulp!) if you have time and it's not too great an inconvenience, could you please check it out? Muchas, muchas gracias in advance!

Amy Baskin said...

Oh! Here's a response to your Monday Moment question, Jolie:

My current picture book has a pig coming to grips with the fact that binge eating doesn't do his body any good. When his best friend witnesses him choking on a donut hole, the Heimlich manoeuvre that follows is like a gut punch to his self-esteem.

Jeannine Norris said...

Enjoyed your article in SCBWI Bulletin this month. Very funny and informative. Mentioned it in my blog. Thanks!

Cuppa Jolie said...

Ah...thanks you guys. I appreciate it. I do know that many read through other avenues...I'm a googlereader myself and don't "follow" but I'm thinking I'll start. It seems somehow a stamp of approval--or a nod of the head as if to say, I like you--that makes it worth hitting the Follow button.

Jeannine- thanks so much! Funny enough, I still haven't seen the article (other than on my computer screen). My Bulletin has yet to hit my mailbox--probably today.

Solvang Sherrie said...

When I started blogging I didn't follow people for a long time either. But it's kind of like Facebook: you follow someone, they follow you back. And the love just keeps growing!

I've been lurking for a while, but you'll notice I was already a follower before you posted this :)

BJW said...

I like you Jolie, you big goof. So does everyone I know. In fact, I'm just briefly checking my email from the conference and am only posting on ONE blog. Yours. I'm not even going near mine or Holly's who did such a nice shout out for me. JUST YOURS. Because your blog's the place to be Jolie. And you're even more cool in real life. And apparently we're related now too. (say thank you to Holly for me when you get a chance).

Jolie is very awesome. It's official. Always have been.

Vacuum Queen said...

Oh, followers schmollowers. I check your blog all the time, but I'm not an official follower. It's no indication of anything! I've just got a little routine with my few favorite blogs, and I don't want to be addicted to a google reader or anything.

But I hear you on the low self confidence thing. After querying my little picture book to many agents, with no "yes" responses, of course I am now embarassed I bothered them with it. Which is dumb because it's good. But two minutes later I'll think it's dumb. So there you have it. Writers are nuts. That's why I have a picture book project and a MG book in progress right now, too. Takes my mind off of it. I wonder if I'll ever finish anything else, though. Hmmmm

BJW said...

and by always have been, you all, of course, know I meant, always HAS been.

I'm a dork.

And you can't find a better blog name out there than Cuppa Jolie, or a better picture to go with it. As your buddy Sara can attest, marketing magic.

Also Jolie, when in doubt, throw up a picture of your pup. Works every time.

Cuppa Jolie said...

Solvang Sherrie - Thanks for being follower (no longer a lurker)!

Vacuum Queen - So cool and flattering that I'm part of your routine! I very much appreiciate it!

Ben! Oh boy do you know how to sweet talk a bloggin' buddy! :)And even more cool in real life? Really? Shucks!

As for the Cuppa Jolie blog name...I have to thank the coolness that is one Miss Jaime T of Cocoastomp for brainstorming that one with me!

Shelli said...

admitting it is the first step - sometimes people dont follow if there is not a follower button on the right.

Im a follower now too - feel better? ;)

Kelly H-Y said...

Oh my goodness ... I was the SAME way with the whole 'follower' thing! Loved this post!

Christina Lee said...

hello- first time on your blog- I saw your write up on finding a critique group in the bulletin(something I am in desperate need of now that I am "officially done")off to read more -oh and BTW,the follower thing doesn't mean all that much (I mean it helps with confidence)-there are always plenty who read all the time but never put themselves on a list-I mean, I stalk blogs all the time!:)Take care!

holly cupala said...

LOL - I follow you on the follower paranoia. Somehow it's way beyond just being friends with someone on FB, it's hoping they actually like what you have to say!

And honestly, I'm amazed you would be afraid to swap mss with anyone! I've heard your writing, and you can keep up with the best of them. Have no fear.

holly cupala said...

And LOL, BJW, you're welcome. ;)

Cuppa Jolie said...

Shelli - Yes, I do feel better. :)

Kelly - Thanks for the love!

Christina Lee - Thanks so much for visiting after reading the article. I hope you find your match! :)

Holly - I'm glad I made you LOL. :) Thanks for the pep talk!

Tara said...

I like that you show the followers because it makes it easy for people like me to find others who might have the same interests.

As for insecurity, let's see: my main character is the daughter of a very important figure and sometimes struggles to live up to his expectations. (Can anything top the pig, though?)

Stephanie Perkins said...

I've never used the follow feature on blogs, BUT I want you to know that I subscribe to your blog in my Google Reader! :)